Sometimes when I think about my life, it feels hard to believe.

 I have over 30 children, amazing beautiful kids that I love. They have a home now, a family and hope. They fill up my life and my heart.

There are also so many kids that I have lost too. That have disappeared, that have died, that have run away.

It's been a really hard year.

A good year in many ways, a heartbreaking year in many others.

It's been a hard week too.

The boys are at Bible camp this week and its given me a little more down time (something I haven't had much of in the last couple of months)

I think sometimes that there is a time to laugh and a time to cry, a time to rejoice and a time to mourn

Maybe this is my week to grieve over all that has been lost. All that my kids have gone through, had done to them and have done. And maybe it's not bad to cry every once in a while